Tokara Reserve Collection Chardonnay 2016


Price: R195 (as of Jul 2018)
Winery: Tokara Estate
Varietal: Chardonnay
Wine Region: Stellenbosch
Country: South Africa


Quality: 15/20
Value: 3/5
Ponce Factor: Higher than tea with Lord Nelson, but more due to the Tokara reputation, and accolades garnered by previous vintages.
Occasion: Any time you’re trying to prove that the classics can still cut the rug.

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This wine is like a Westboro Baptist church service; there are a few nuts in prominent positions, the use of wood is abundant, & seemingly no fruits are allowed.

👃🏼 The vanguard carries huge quantities of open smoky walnut & oak. Obviously there is also the abundance of vanilla. Fruit elements are subdued, to say the least, but there is no shortage of secondary elements to maintain intrigue.

👄 The palate carries fascinating sour-dough elements, a heavy leesy texture, & more oak on the tail. The fruit, however, is shyer than a reclusive librarian with Asperger’s. Possibly, if you wait very quietly in a bush nearby, you may find a hint of citrus emerge.

📝 The 7-9 months on the lees definitely pays its rent. 

Stanley Kubrick: Using asperger’s as a super power

Stanley Kubrick was by all accounts a weird kid. Of course you can’t say that now. It’s not very politically correct. These days, now that we’re woke, and we know that Stanley had Asperger’s, we have to say things like, “he was differently abled”, or that he was a high-functioning introvert. With that out of the way, let’s look at some of Stanley’s absolutely most bonkers moments:

  • When Stanley Kubrick was filming The Shining in 1980, he made Shelley Duvall walk backwards up some stairs for ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SEVEN takes. He also screamed at her on set all day every day in order to try and lend a genuine sense of trauma to her character. She became so stressed that he hair began falling out. Now one might say, “yay verily, that’s abuse”, but one might also say that if Shelley had simply delivered the correct acting chops on day one, none of that would have been necessary. I’m not saying that. But one might say that.
  • Eye’s Wide Shut is a Guiness World Record holder for the gargantuan 400 days that it took to shoot. During that time Stanley made Tom Cruise walk through a door 95 times to get one shot, and saw Sydney Pollack walk across the same room and shake Tom’s hand for two whole days. 
  • Malcolm MacDowell was almost permanently blinded during the filming of Clockwork Orange because Kubrick was having a little trouble getting “the right take” for the Ludovico Technique scene. Meanwhile MacDowell was strapped to a chair, wearing those eye clamps. MacDowell’s corneas were severely scratched, and even though his eyes were anaesthetized (how humane!), he was in excruciating pain for most of the time. 

About the Author

Jono Le Feuvre is not a bean counter. He is a bean roaster. Bean roasters carry far more street cred & get to speak at bizarre niche gatherings of enquiring-but-unhinged-minds. They also usually have addictive tendencies. When he is not roasting beans he is pulling corks. Or deftly removing screwcap enclosures. But you can read more about him here.