Natural Wine is kinda like that 80s horror flick, the blob. In that it’s usually a cloudy formless mass with a definition that changes as often as its shape, and it’s super hard to nail down, because it keeps morphing into something else. Also, it’s like The Blob, because, like, one often finds oneself sitting in the back seat of a teenager’s jalopy, thinking that you’re about get something fresh and fruity, but then, as you reach out to grab the prize, you’re greeted instead by a weird smelling formless ooze that tries to eat you from the inside.